The passage we looked at tonight was 1 Corinthians 14. During the question time, Phil mentioned an article that he’d found helpful in understanding the confusing parts at this chapter.

The first part is an extract of the relevant bits of the article. Grab it here.

The second part is the full article if you want to read it all in context. Grab it here.

The passage we looked at tonight was 1 Corinthians 7. Lots of questions this week. First, up the link to the talk by Kevin de Young that I spoke about. Find it here.

1 – What are we to make of Paul’s clarification in 1 Cor 7:12 where he says “But I (not the Lord) say to the rest…”?

This seems a bit confusing. Is Paul saying this bit is less the word of God than other bits? Well, I don’t think that’s what he’s trying to say here. Paul is talking about divorce in these verses, and he makes a distinction between what Jesus said in Luke 16:18, Mark 10:2-12 and Matthew 19:3-12. Of these three, it’s only Matthew that records Jesus saying that divorce because of adultery is permissible (not desirable).

So what Paul is saying in these verses is that he’s describing a different situation, another exception, that Jesus did not speak about. So he makes the clarification – “I (not the Lord)…”.

2 – What are we to make of verse 1?

The NIV unhelpfully translates this making it sound like Paul is telling them not to marry. It should read “Now for the matters you wrote about: ‘It is good for a man not to touch (i.e. have sex) with a woman’.”

So in the Corinthian church there were libertines (anything goes) and ascetics (nothing goes), and while the end of 1 Cor 6 is probably a corrective to the former, the latter is a corrective to the latter. You’re not more spiritual if you don’t have sex, and that’s not the way to combat sexual immorality. What you need to do (Paul says) is to have one wife, and give yourself to her. That’s the way you combat sexual immorality.

3 – What would you say to a Christian wanting to marry a non-Christian hoping they ‘convert’?

I’d say it’s crazy. Here’s my reasoning.

1 – Beside our relationship with God (which marriage is a pale imitation of), marriage is the most intimate relationship you can have. If our souls are oriented towards God, and he is the focus of our lives and service – it is going to introduce incredible stress if two people in a ‘one flesh’ relationship are pulling in different directions.

2 – In theses verses (v.12-16) he’s not encouraging Christians to enter into that relationship. He’s acknowledging that many will become Christians after they enter into that relationship and find themselves in that situation. He’s giving people a framework for how to understand that situation, not encouragement to enter it.

3 – In my experience it (generally) doesn’t work and causes enormous grief & strain. Strain both in the marriage, grief in raising kids, struggles with how time is spent and priorities are ordered. Marriage is hard enough – this just introduces a whole ‘nother level of difficulty. Often (not always) it can result in the person who was a Christian walking away from their faith. People entering into the relationship always think they’re the exception…but that’s why they’re called exceptions. Because it’s not the norm.

4 – How come women are described as virgins and men are not?

The word Paul uses here is parthenon which can be used about men (See Rev 14:4), but is more generally used to describe a women of marriageable age who hasn’t had sex. When we see the word, our emphasis is drawn to the ‘not having sex’ part of it, as where Paul’s emphasis here is the ‘not married’ component.

So I think he’s just using the term here to describe women who haven’t been married so as to distinguish from those he deals with elsewhere.

The passage we looked at tonight was 1 Corinthians 7:17-24. One clarification, one question.

1 – I made a comment last night when I was speaking about Chappo’s comments on 1 Corinthians 7 about Paul stating that marriage was a good option for those struggling with sex, not necessarily for companionship. This may have sounded like me saying that marriage isn’t for companionship also – I believe it is! (and so does Chappo I’m pretty sure). But part of being in God’s family is that strong companionship, friendship and relationships should also be found outside of a marriage relationship with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Anyway, to say what I was saying better, you can read what Chappo was saying for yourself. He’s a wise man, he says some hard things, but they’re some good things. Read it here.

2 – A good question last night about contentment and singleness – how do you find it. One of my friends who’s a Godly guy gave me the answer I’ve pasted below. The Godliness & wisdom of this answer is astounding. If you’re interested, you can also listen to a talk from Jenny Salt (Australian who works at Sydney Missionary & Bible College) on Singleness here.

I’ve found that contentment is something that needs to be worked hard at (maybe a bit ‘same same but different’ as the way a couple need to constantly work at maintaining their marriage(??)). I see pursuing contentment very much as one of those ‘active’ things, not a passive thing that you just wait for it to happen to you.

For me, key has been constantly reminding myself (and thanking God) for his blessings and the many good things I do have. Ephesians 1:3 comes to mind. And aside from the spiritual, there’s other stuff like good health, being born in Australia rather than North Korea or the Sudan (I’m being serious here!), my friends and family, secure job and relative wealth etc.)

Philippians 4:12 has been a key verse for me that I think of often (meditate on … for want of a slightly better term) and use as a springboard for prayer:

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want…

… whether I’m married or single.

Pursuing contentment has taken much prayer over quite some time. I’ve worked hard at (and prayed for) establishing a large group of great friends, Christian and non-Christian. As a general rule I take every invite / opportunity I can to catch up with friends. My church community and bible study group are incredibly valuable to me.

I’ve also learned to enjoy my own company and taken up sports/hobbies I can enjoy doing solo.

I concentrate intently on rejoicing in the blessings that I have in Christ, the hope that awaits in heaven, and how the things I’m ‘missing out on’ in this life now pale in comparison to the greatness of what awaits in heaven.

Along the lines of 1 Corinthians 7:32, I try to make the most of the freedom I have to serve in God’s kingdom in ways I probably couldn’t if I was married and had a family – even if that just means I’ve got more time to go to meetings or can be more generous with my money than my married friends.